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When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

-Matt Groening

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All women do have a different sense of sexuality, or sense of fun, or sense of like what’s sexy or cool or tough.

-Angelina Jolie

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If you can make a woman laugh, you’re almost there.

If you’re almost there and she laughs… Now that’s a different thing!

– Marilyn Monroe

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I have seen three emperors in their nakedness, and the sight was not inspiring.

-Otto von Bismarck

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The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water: not before or after, but instead.

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On Clinton: A man will occasionally step on his dick, but he shouldn’t stand on it.

Kris Kristofferson.

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Sex is like bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

-Charles Pierce

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