The Pharmacist’s Mon ….

The Pharmacist’s Monday:

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.”

“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.”

“When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.”

He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.”

“When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.”

“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.”

“And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”

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Ticket Please !!!! ….

Ticket Please !!!!

Three accountants and three engineers all have to take a train to go to a special conference. At the ticket counter the accountants each buy a ticket but the engineers only buy one between the three of them. The accountants ask how are are they going to all travel with just one ticket. The engineers say “Watch this”. when the train starts moving the three engineers all go into the bathroom together. when the conductor walks by he knocks on the door and asks “ticket please”. one hand extends out of the bathroom with the ticket. The conductor moves along.

The accountants agree that this is a very clever plan and decide to try it them selves on the return trip. However for the return trip when the accountants only buy one ticket the engineers by none. “how are all of you going to travel without any ticket?” the accountants ask. “Just watch” so the engineers. They all get onto the train the accounts all cram into one bathroom and the engineers cram into another. then one of the engineers leaves the bathroom and walks to the bathroom where the accountants are hiding, knocks on the door and says, “ticket please.”

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A Marwadi man is on ….

A Marwadi man is on his death bed:

With his sight failing, he turns to the doctor and asks is his wife there?

The doctor assures him she is.

“And my sons, my beautiful sons, are they here?”

“They are.”

“What about my sister?”

Consoling the poor man, the doctor tells him:”Don’t worry, she’s here, along with your brother in law, and all the rest of your family, you can die in peace.”

With his last breath, the old Chinese man, struggling to make his voice heard says:

“If everyone is here, then who the f**k is minding the shop?”.

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