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A small boy asks his Dad, “Daddy, what is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.” So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.

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A guy wakes up from a comma

His doctor asks him what he remembers.

– All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn’t stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me “Can you please press one?”.

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On the table, is bacon, eggs and a huge glass of milk. However, before the boy could have anything, his mom demanded that he take out the garbage.


Angry at the world, the boy goes outside to take the garbage. On his way back inside, he stops at the pig pen, and kicks a pig in anger. He stops at the chicken coup and kicks a chicken in anger. He then stops at the cow barn and kicks a cow in anger.


Back inside, the boy feeling better, sits down. Only to find a bowl of dry cereal. He exclaims, “What’s this?!”


The mom replies, “Well, because you kicked the pig, you get no bacon. Because you kicked the chicken, you get no eggs. And because you kicked the cow you get no milk.”


Suddenly, an angry voice comes from the other room. Tripping, the dad kicks the cat in anger.


The boy responds, “Wanna tell him or should I?”

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