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A teacher asks the class to name things that end with ‘tor’ that eat things.


The first little boy says, “Alligator.”


“Very good, that’s a big word.”


The second boy says, “Predator.”


“Yes, that’s another big word. Well done.”


Little Johnny says, “Vibrator, Miss.”


After nearly falling off her chair, she says, “That is a big word, but it doesn’t eat anything.”


“Well my sister has one and she says it eats f*cking batteries like there’s no tomorrow!”

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A young lesbian goes to her gynecologist for her yearly pelvic examination. She puts on the paper gown and awaits him to come into the exam room. He instructs her to get up onto the table and place her feet in the stirrups.


As he is examining her she hears him saying, “Hmmmmm… hmmmhmmm…”


He completes the examination, instructs her to dress and then meet him in his office when she is done.


In his office she asks him if there was anything unusual that he observed during the exam because she could not help but hear his non-verbal comments.


“Oh, that!” he says. “I was just admiring you. You have the cleanest vagi

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A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for one but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 10 in his town has been at it.


Finally he decides to adopts a baby girl from the orphanage. He raises her until she is walking and talking and then sends her away to a monastery for safekeeping until marrying age. After many years she finally reaches maturity and he retrieves her from the monastery and marries her.


After the wedding they make their way back to his house and into the bedroom where they both prepare themselves for the consummation. They lie down together in his bed and he reaches over for a jar of petr

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This woman goes into a dentist`s office, and after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.”
The woman then says: “Ooooohhhh, I`d rather have a baby!”
To which the dentist replies: “Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair.”

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A woman went to her priest with a problem.


“Father, I have two female parrots and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is ‘hi we’re prostitutes wanna have some fun?”


“That’s terrible!” Exclaim the priest. “But I think I can help, bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship”


The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest’s house.


His two male parrots were holding

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