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Blowjob Etiquettes for Women by a Male


1. First of all, yes you’re obligated to do it. If you don’t, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.


2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.


3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word “queef” mean anything to you?


4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don’t worry about it and be thankful I’m not pulling your hair.


5. When you’re on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!


6. Sp

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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball. Seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.


Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.


A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. “What’s that?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.

“Tennis ball,” came the breathless reply.


“Oh,” said the girl sympathetically, “that must be painful. I had tennis elbow once.”

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After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husbandto describe her.


He looked at her for a while…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E,F, G, H, I, J, K.”


She asks, “What does that mean?”


He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy,Gorgeous, Hot.


She smiled happily and said, “Oh, that’s so lovely. What aboutI, J, K?”


He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”


The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

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There were three friends that always wanted to play golf every Saturday afternoon, but couldn`t because of their wives objections.

So one day after many years they finally got together on the golf course and were waiting at the first tee when one guy said, “I had to buy my wife a diamond necklace to get to play today!!!”

The second said, “That`s nothing I had to buy MY wife a new sports car to get out here today!!!”

The third said, “Boy you guys are a couple of wimps; I didn`t have to buy my wife anything!!!”

They both looked at him and asked how he managed that!

The smartest of the three said, “It was easy, when I got up this

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A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, “Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin.”
This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.

She responded:”My first husband was a Sales Representqative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, `It`s gonna be great!`

My second husband was from Software Services, he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but

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