My wife says my love ….
My wife says my lovemaking is like a news bulletin. Brief, unexpected and usually a disaster.
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Donald Duck and Dais ….
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
The first thing Daisy asked was, “Do you have a condom?”
Donald frowned and said, “No.”
Daisy told Donald that if he didn’t get a condom, they could not have sex.
“Maybe they sell them at the front desk,” she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.
“Yes, we do,” the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.
The clerk asked, “Would you like me to put the
continue ….
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The first thing Daisy asked was, “Do you have a condom?”
Donald frowned and said, “No.”
Daisy told Donald that if he didn’t get a condom, they could not have sex.
“Maybe they sell them at the front desk,” she suggested.
So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.
“Yes, we do,” the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.
The clerk asked, “Would you like me to put the
continue ….
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A newly married coup ….
A newly married couple returned to their house after being on honeymoon.
“Care to go upstairs and have a shag?” the husband asked.
“Shhhh!” said the bride, “All the neighbours will know what we`re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we`ll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking Have you left the washing machine door open instead?”
So the following night, the husband asks, “I don`t suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?”
“No, I definitely shut it”, replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.
When she woke up however, she was feel
continue ….
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“Care to go upstairs and have a shag?” the husband asked.
“Shhhh!” said the bride, “All the neighbours will know what we`re about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we`ll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking Have you left the washing machine door open instead?”
So the following night, the husband asks, “I don`t suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?”
“No, I definitely shut it”, replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.
When she woke up however, she was feel
continue ….
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What a Contradiction ….
What a Contradiction:
If a wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
And if a husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy!
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If a wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
And if a husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy!
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Q: Why did Santa tak ….
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised `free delivery`
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A: Because they advertised `free delivery`
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Two guys were picked ….
Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I`d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursued them to give up drugs forever. I`ll see you back in court Monday.”
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,”How did you do over the weekend?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”
“17 people? That`s wonderful. What did you tell them?”
“I used
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The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I`d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursued them to give up drugs forever. I`ll see you back in court Monday.”
Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one,”How did you do over the weekend?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”
“17 people? That`s wonderful. What did you tell them?”
“I used
continue ….
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Bob was in trouble. ….
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
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She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
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