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Once Winston Churchill was delivering a lecture. During his speech, a beautiful lady stood up and asked Churchill a question. Having no appropriate answer to give, he sat down. Another gentleman reminded Churchill that he hadn`t answered her question. Promptly came the reply from Churchill,

“When skirts go up pants go down.”

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A wife suspected that her husband was having an affair with the housemaid.


She thought of a plan to take him by surprise.


One Friday she told the maid to take the day off and that night she went into the maid’s room, switched off all the lights and, in pitch darkness, slipped into the bed.


Sure enough at midnight, there were footsteps and a figure opened the door and slipped into the maid’s bed beside her.


After a few passionate kisses, the wife suddenly switched on the lights and asked, “Surprised?”


“I sure am, ma’am!” stammered the chauffeur.

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There is a raffle at the local Jewish Community Centre and prizes are being drawn.

“4th prize, which goes to Hymie, is a BMW Royce.”

Huge applause. Hymie goes up to collect his keys and shake hands.

“3rd prize, which goes to Jacob, is a BMW and a cheque for �20,000.”

Huge applause. Frank goes up to collect his keys and cheque and shake hands.

“2nd prize, which goes to Abe, is a piece of fruit cake!”

Ghastly silence. Abe goes up to the stage to the presenter.

“What do you mean, a piece of fruit cake? 4th prize was a BMW, 3rd prize was a BMW plus a cheque for �20,000, so what the hell do you mean a p

continue ….

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