Category Archives: Adult Jokes
There’s a few guys w ….
There’s a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink.
One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp… Then he turned to Bob and said, “Times are getting tough my friend, I mean, just today my wife told me that she’s going to cut me back to only two times a week… I can’t believe it.”
At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff’s shoulder and said reassuringly, “You think you’ve got it bad, she’s cut some guys out all together”
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One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp… Then he turned to Bob and said, “Times are getting tough my friend, I mean, just today my wife told me that she’s going to cut me back to only two times a week… I can’t believe it.”
At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff’s shoulder and said reassuringly, “You think you’ve got it bad, she’s cut some guys out all together”
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Santa is standing, p ….
Santa is standing, pissing into a fountain in the middle of town. A cop comes up to him and says “Stop that and put it away!”
Poor Santa shoves his dick into his pants and does up his zip. As the cop turns to go, the drunk Santa starts laughing
“Okay, what`s so funny?” asks the cop.
“Fooled you.” says Santa, “I put it away, but I didn`t stop.”
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Poor Santa shoves his dick into his pants and does up his zip. As the cop turns to go, the drunk Santa starts laughing
“Okay, what`s so funny?” asks the cop.
“Fooled you.” says Santa, “I put it away, but I didn`t stop.”
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A woman was having s ….
A woman was having sex with her lover in her apartment. Suddenly she heard her husband arrive, She told her lover, stay like statue and Don’t move.
Husband, “Who is this?”
Wife, “This is a robot I bought to have sex, when you are travelling.”
Husband, “Ok, let’s have sex now.”
Wife, “No sweetheart, yesterday I got my period, So I will go & make a cup of coffee 4 you.”
After she left the husband said, “Damn it I’m so horny, I will fuck this robot!”
He tried fucking.
The lover started talking in a metallic robotic way, “”SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE! SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOL
continue ….
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Husband, “Who is this?”
Wife, “This is a robot I bought to have sex, when you are travelling.”
Husband, “Ok, let’s have sex now.”
Wife, “No sweetheart, yesterday I got my period, So I will go & make a cup of coffee 4 you.”
After she left the husband said, “Damn it I’m so horny, I will fuck this robot!”
He tried fucking.
The lover started talking in a metallic robotic way, “”SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOLE! SYSTEM ERROR! WRONG HOL
continue ….
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Three nuns were talk ….
Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, “I was cleaning in Father`s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines.”
“What did you do?” the other nuns asked.
“Well, of course I threw them in the trash.”
The second nun said, “Well, I can top that. I was in Father`s room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!”
“Oh my!” gasped the other nuns.
“What did you do?” they asked.
“I poked holes in all of them!” she replied.
The third nun fainted.
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“What did you do?” the other nuns asked.
“Well, of course I threw them in the trash.”
The second nun said, “Well, I can top that. I was in Father`s room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!”
“Oh my!” gasped the other nuns.
“What did you do?” they asked.
“I poked holes in all of them!” she replied.
The third nun fainted.
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Todays generation: S ….
Todays generation: Six year old boy to a four year old boy: Dude, I found a condom in the balcony.
Four year old boy: What’s a balcony ?
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Four year old boy: What’s a balcony ?
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Q: How do you teach ….
Q: How do you teach Maths to a blonde?
A: Add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn’t multiply!
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A: Add a bed, subtract her knickers, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn’t multiply!
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