Category Archives: Jokes

Dear Justin Biber ha ….

Dear Justin Biber haters,

.

.

.

Plzz respect heeeeer…

I owe my life to justin.

.

.

On march 9th,2011

I was in a coma for 6

months

after a terrible car

crash.

.

.

.

.

.

One day my nurse

turned the

.

.

.

radio to justin’s song,

So I got up, . . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

And turned the radio

off.

continue ….

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A man decides to tak ….

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat.

The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear.

She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the frozen seat, and they go.

When they get to the doctor’s, the man lifts his wife’s coat to show their predicament.

The man asks, “Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?”

“Well, yes,” the doctor replies, “but never framed.”

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Santa was recently h ….

Santa was recently hired at an office. His first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well his first day on the job, he grabbed a thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.

Santa held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take his order.

“Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” Santa asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

“Oh good!” Santa sighed in relief. “I`ll have three regular and three black.”

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A tourist walked int ….

A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I`ll have a C monkey please.”

The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “That`ll be $5000.”

The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very expensive monkey. The cost of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?”

The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that monkey can program in C; very fast, tight code, n

continue ….

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