John was sitting out ….

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!”

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

“How do *you* know, Sister?”

“My Mother Superior told me so”

“But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?”

“Don`t be ridiculous – of course I have never taken alcohol myself”

“Then let me buy you

continue ….

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He :- hiiiiii…. :) ….

He :- hiiiiii…. 🙂

she:- How are you? :-/

.

He:- I m fine,thank you. 🙂

.

She :- Maine puchha,how are

you? :-/

.

He:- I replied na.. M fine. 🙂

.

She :- ek to tum logo ka angrezi ka

problem bahut hai upar se aa gaye fb pe chat

karne… Maine puchha ‘How are you?? Matlab

tum kaun

ho? :-/

.

He :- Didi,bas apna chhota bhai samjho. :p

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Ek Sharabi full tigh ….

Ek Sharabi full tight hokar ghar jaa raha tha. Raaste me mandir ke baahar pujari dikha. Sharabi ne pujari se poocha, “Sabse bada kaun?”


Pujaari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha, “Mandir Bada.”


Sharabi bola, “Mandir bada toh dharti pe kaise khada?”
Pujari: “Dharti badi.”


Sharabi, “Dharti badi toh Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi?”


Pujari: “Sheshnaag bada.”


Sharabi: “Sheshnaag bada toh Shiv ke gale me kyon pada?”
Pujari: “Shiv bada.”


Sharabi: “Shiv bada toh Parbat par kyon khada?”


Pujari: “Parbat bada.”


Sharabi: “Parbat bada toh Hanuma

continue ….

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An off-duty police o ….

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.


The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.


“This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought.


A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets-each for not wearing a seat belt.

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