A lion woke up one m ….

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”


The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!


Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”


The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!”


On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”


Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen

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Two five year old bo ….

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, “Your thing doesn`t have any skin on it!”.

“I`ve been circumcised.”, the other replied.

“What`s that mean?”

“It means they cut the skin off the end.”

“How old were you when it was cut off?”

“My mom said I was two days old.”

“Did it hurt?”, the kid asked inquiringly.

“You bet it hurt, I didn`t walk for a year!”

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A guy walks into the ….

A guy walks into the vet`s office with a hamster. He lays the hamster on the table and the doctor says, “I`m sorry, sir, but your hamster is dead.”

“I want a second opinion!” the man demands.

So the doctor brings in a cat. The cat walks around the hamster, sniffs him and shakes its head. “Well the cat says your hamster is dead,” says the doctor.

“Well I want a third opinion.” So the doctor brings in a Labrador retriever. The lab walks around the hamster, sniffs him and shakes its head. “The lab says your hamster is dead.”

“OK, fine. What do I owe you?”

“$650” the doctor said.

“What?!? What for?”

“Well

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