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A guy who is a virgin gets married.


On the honeymoon the guy walks into his hotel room and his wife is naked on the bed. She asks the man, “Do you know what I want?”


The man says, “I don’t know.”


The woman spreads her legs and then asks the same question again.


The guy says, “You want the whole fucking bed to yourself. Don’t you?”

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My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, quite obviously too, and made me feel uncomfortable.

One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to check the invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she can`t overcome. So befo

continue ….

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There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.”


She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?”


The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!”


So the woman asked, “Is this a record?”


To which the man replied, “No, its average!”

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